Thursday, February 15, 2007

Stay-at-home-daddying is interesting, but...

but who gets Anna Nicole Smith's corpse is today's blog topic.

You may be employed. You may have real responsibilities or interests or perhaps a hobby. Hence you do not know about the televised hearing to decide who will take possession of the Corpse of Anna Nicole Smith (CANS). I can tell you all about these procedings. I am a stay-at-home dad. I have watched well over an hour of these procedings. I have watched as a completely incompetent judge has presided over these procedings. I know many things that you do not. I know who Shane Kelly is. You do not. I know what Judge Larry Seidlin's "vibes" have told him. You (lucky you) do not.

The first thing I should tell you is that if you were worried that they might lay CANS to rest before taking a sufficient quantity of DNA samples, you can relax. They have a few good blood samples, some tissue samples, bone marrow, and a buckle swab. You will be happy to know that CANS continues to be penetrated as often in death as she was in life.

This whole big frenzy around CANS reminds me a lot of the O.J. trial. I remember fondly the night we all watched that white Ford Bronco driving on that L.A. freeway. That night we all were mesmerized. We couldn't look away (or change the channel). And in a way, we were all happy. We were happy because we knew that we'd all have something to talk about for a good long time. Something that you could talk about with anyone, anywhere, and they'd have something to say. Isn't it great when a nation has something to talk about? I'm getting that same excited feeling again. I think our mediocre nation has waited a long time for something like this to come around again, and it is here.

By the way, Shane Kelly is the probate attorney who was appointed by the idiot judge as guardian for the case. Shane's job will be to handle everything so that the judge doesn't have to make any decisions. Judge Larry Seidlin is a bit afraid of decisions.

The big question left on everyones minds at the end of the hearing was, who will CANS be wearing at the funeral?

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