Tuesday, February 27, 2007

The Lost Tomb of Jesus

I haven't yet seen the documentary nor have I read anything about it. Still, I do have a blog, and it is my right as an American and a blogger to publicly chime in on this controversy.

First of all, I saw a quick clip of these coffin boxes on the TV news while I was flipping channels, and it seemed to me that the Jesus coffins are only about 3 feet long. If these boxes are authenticated, it will become clear to everyone that Jesus was in fact a "little person." (I'll never understand how calling them little people is any nicer than saying midgets.) What this might mean to Christians is a bit fuzzy at this point, but I have a feeling it'll be a very big deal for midgets everywhere. Up until now, their greatest role models have been Michu, Mini-Me and the guy from Bad Santa. I don't even think they have a midget history month (nor have they merited one until this point). But now, the midgets can claim Jesus as one of their own. For any minority group to add a celebrity of his caliber to their roster, it's big. Jesus is right up there with Oprah, Yao Ming, and Tiger Woods.

I think I would like to be among the first to file the proper papers to get my DNA tested against the DNA found in the Jesus box. I think it would mean a lot to me if I found out that I was a direct descendant of Jesus, especially around the holidays. I'd probably shell out a little more this year and get a Douglas Fir, a decent sized one. And I would put up lights. I bet I'd probably do pretty well with the ladies too. It would probably be a lot like being a Kennedy at a bar on Cape Cod at 3 am.

I have as good a chance as anyone to be related. And now that I think about it, I am a very forgiving person. On the other hand, I've never really been able to grow a beard. Who knows, its worth a shot. It's like Zsa Zsa's husband said, "All it takes is a tissue sample and a dream."

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